Bullying; Mum and I: Part 1

Particularly in Nigeria, it’s unfortunate that bullying often goes unaddressed until a tragic incident occurs, as was the case with young Sylvester Oromoni. The 12-year-old boy allegedly lost his life due to bullying by his seniors at Dowen College in Lagos, Nigeria. This tragic event has highlighted the urgency of addressing and preventing bullying in our schools and communities.

I would like to emphasize that I don’t intend to take sides in the ongoing investigation of the recent tragic incident involving Sylvester Oromoni, the 12-year-old boy who allegedly lost his life due to bullying at Dowen College in Lagos, Nigeria. However, in light of this case and the many others like it where children have suffered due to bullying, I feel compelled to give special recognition to my mother.

My mother is a true VIP, and she embodies the kind of woman every bullied child should have. I’ve been petite all my life, smaller in size than my peers, and growing up in an economically disadvantaged neighborhood made me a target for bullies.

Unexpectedly, anyone who dared to bully me often found themselves in an unpleasant confrontation with my mom. Sometimes, it got a little physical. One incident that stands out was the case of a young woman in her twenties who lived down our street in the 90s with her fashion designer brother.

One day, while waiting in line to fetch water, this young woman decided to switch her water container with mine, even though she had arrived much later. Feeling mistreated, I challenged her by putting the containers back where they belonged, and she responded by slapping me.

That was my breaking point.

Of course, I couldn’t challenge someone three times my size to a fight, so I went home in tears and recounted the incident to my mother, sobbing as I spoke. My mom, who was determined to get to the bottom of the matter, insisted that I tell her nothing but the truth. Through my tears, I assured her that I was telling the truth, and in no time, we were heading toward the shop belonging to the young woman’s uncle.

As we approached, I pointed to the young woman, who was standing at a distance, looking bewildered. When my mother reached her and stood just a few inches away, she swiftly delivered a resounding slap. This time, the young woman was the victim, struggling to regain her balance.

A crowd gathered from her uncle’s shop to understand what was happening, and upon questioning, my mother signaled for me to explain the situation. I happily did so, and then the young woman tearfully recounted how she had playfully patted my cheek after politely asking for some space in line in front of me.

It was clear that she was lying, but convinced of my honesty, my mother asked the young woman’s uncle, who had become the spokesperson, to produce the Quran and requested that the young woman swear on it to confirm the truth of her story. After that, she fell silent, and that was the end of it. The truth always prevails, and I couldn’t help but smile at my victory.

Many people, including Hauwa’s uncle, profusely apologized to my mother and me, seeking peace, and we obliged. Afterward, I walked behind my mother on our way home like a conqueror.

One thing struck me, though, and I asked my mother why she had slapped the young woman before hearing her side of the story. She explained that she wanted to balance the score to 1-1 before people began pleading, as slapping her later wouldn’t have achieved the same effect.

My mother, my champion, always for one person, truly earned my admiration.

Needless to say, this particular incident has remained vivid in my memory for nearly two decades, and I’ve always been proud of my mother. As a result of her actions, I was no longer seen as an easy target for bullying in our neighborhood. My peers knew that I would confide in my mom, and she would always stand up for me, leading to consequences for the bullies.

In the end, Hauwa’s uncle sent her back to her parents as it became evident that she was becoming a neighborhood bully, while her uncle was not known for such behavior.