Discovering Dignity: Marian Akintola Senior Citizen (MASC) Care Home

The closest I had ever come to understanding the concept of a care home was through foreign movies. My mother, in particular, often criticized the idea. To her, care homes were simply places where elderly people were abandoned by children unwilling to take on the responsibility of caring for their parents.

So, when early-onset dementia crept into her life in her late 50s, the thought of placing her in a care home was out of the question for me. Despite suggestions from different quarters, I couldn’t entertain the idea. I didn’t want to be perceived as someone who had failed, someone who couldn’t care for a woman who had done everything within her power to care for me.

But after more than six years of juggling full-time work with the ever-demanding role of caregiving, enduring a string of domestic helps who each came with their own major flaws, I found myself at breaking point. My mental health was deteriorating fast. I realized that if I was going to survive, and provide my mother with the consistent care she deserved, a care home might actually be the wisest option.

I began searching for a facility that didn’t feel institutional or impersonal. I wanted a place that felt like home. A place where I could visit frequently and leave with peace of mind, knowing that my mother was in safe hands.

That search led me to Marian Akintola Senior Citizen Care Home, located at 29 Santos Avenue, Abule Egba, Alagbado, Lagos State. The moment I walked in, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. It was everything I had hoped for in a care facility. Sadly, as I was preparing to move my mother there, I lost her.

Even so, my experience with the care home left such an impression that I felt compelled to shine a spotlight on the incredible work they’re doing, especially in a part of the world where care homes are still heavily misunderstood.

Recently, I had a chat with the CEO of MASC Care Home, Mrs. Busola Shogbamimu, daughter of the founder, Dame Marian Akintola.

Below are excerpts from our conversation.

Titipetral:                                  “What inspired you to establish a care home in this community?”

MASC CEO:                               “I would always call myself an accidental landlord because I’m carrying on the legacy of what my mother started. It was a vision she had, born out of the pain she experienced while taking care of her own mother in old age.”

“They had a lot of trouble finding good caregivers. There was no care home where her mother could be sent, so they hired an older woman, but foodstuff started going missing, and Mama was sometimes left alone. Then they hired a younger person, but that one would disappear with her boyfriend, leaving Mama unattended again. All of that really distressed her.”

“She didn’t want anyone else to go through that kind of experience, so she kept telling us she wanted to set up an elderly care home. She felt strongly about preventing others from facing the same struggles she had. But she also felt she was too old, she was around 70 or just about to turn 70 at the time.”

“Being someone who’s passionate about personal development, I would always encourage her whenever she visited us abroad. I’d say, “It’s better to try and fail than not to try at all and regret it later in life.” So, the year she turned 70 was the year she launched the home, and that’s how it all started.”

“As for why she chose this particular community, it came down to practical challenges. Getting accommodation or funding to secure a place elsewhere was difficult. She already had a building she used to rent out, so she decided to convert it. It was her property and had been in her possession for a very long time. That’s the building we now use for the care home.”

Titipetral:                                 “How do you think cultural perceptions of care homes differ in African societies compared to other regions in the world?”

MASC CEO:                            “Other regions in the world have already embraced this chapter. I suppose it’s their own cultural perception that developed it into what it is today. I won’t say it’s selfish like we were made to believe, I am just of the opinion that they’re more aware of the fact that everyone will eventually live for themselves. So, their children grow up, leave the nest, and go live their own lives. As a result, parents plan their future independently, rather than relying solely on their children. In most Western cultures, care homes are embraced, and their governments are supportive.”

“In our culture, we are more traditionally inclusive and family-oriented. We used to look out for one another, neighbors would check in on each other, and there was a strong communal spirit. But things are evolving.”

“In the Nigerian cultural context, many people still frown heavily at the idea of taking a parent to a care home. The common reaction is, “Can you not take care of her yourself?” So, oftentimes, when people reach out to us about placing their parents in a care home, they do it quietly, without informing the extended family. Ironically, when the parents are suffering at home, that extended family is not there to help. They are not the ones handling the day-to-day struggles. But the moment they hear about a care home, they suddenly claim they can care for the elderly parent. The truth is, in most cases, they move into the person’s house, the children send food, and the so-called caregiver diverts the food to their own family. Meanwhile, the elderly parent may not be getting the care they truly need.”

“Now, I’m not saying there aren’t situations where elders are well cared for at home. In some Yoruba subcultures, people are deeply committed to taking care of their elders themselves and are not open to the idea of care homes. Even when the children know they need support services, they won’t speak up because of the fear of judgment. People don’t always understand that placing an elderly person in a care home can be in their best interest.”

“Sadly, the older person’s own perspective and needs are often ignored. Society and cultural expectations tend to take precedence over their actual well-being. This is why a lot of education is still needed. There’s a cultural misunderstanding about conditions like dementia. Some people still say things like, “That’s a white man’s disease.” What man’s what? Dementia is here. It can happen to anyone.”

“Awareness needs to be brought to the grassroots level. While there has been some progress over the years, we still have a long way to go. In some cases, when an elderly person starts talking out of turn due to brain malfunction, it’s culturally interpreted as a sign of witchcraft or that they’re confessing to something. That’s a big issue.”

“It’s very important to educate our people about mental health in the elderly and how to provide the right kind of support. Yes, our culture is beautiful, but the parts that no longer serve us should be examined, questioned, and redefined. We shouldn’t hold on to certain practices just because they’re “cultural.” We need to ask: How is this culture serving us? Is it benefiting the people it affects? That’s the lens we need to apply, not necessarily to copy the West, but to find the best path forward for our own people.”

Titipetral:                                     “What challenges did you face in introducing the concept of a care home to this community?”

MASC CEO:                                  “Like I mentioned in the previous question, cultural perception was a major challenge. Many people believed that bringing someone to a care home was a form of punishment, that it meant you weren’t giving your loved one the best care. It wasn’t until they found themselves unable to cope or without any form of support for their elderly ones that they started reconsidering.”

“Sometimes, people just want to try it out to see what it feels like. And over time, we’ve had many beautiful experiences with our seniors. We’ve truly had a fantastic time living and working with them. But yes, the biggest challenge has always been overcoming those cultural barriers and changing that mindset.”

Titipetral:                                     “How do you address the stigma associated with placing elderly family members in a care home?”

MASC CEO:                                 “The way we address the stigma associated with placing family members in a care home is by using every opportunity to educate people. When someone says, “I can’t bring my mum into a care home,” I explain to them that a care home is not for everyone, just as home care is not for everyone. We use those moments to educate.”

“When you can’t cope with the health challenges your parent or loved one is going through, you need extra help, otherwise, you risk breaking down yourself. You may not be able to manage incontinence, stroke, or dementia on your own. You might not even be able to lift them by yourself. Or perhaps your work or personal life makes it impossible, or you’re not getting any support from other family members. So many factors determine whether someone should go into a care home or stay at home.”

Masc CEO

“There have even been situations where someone came to us saying they wanted to bring their parent to a care home, and after evaluating the situation, we advised them against it. We recommended home care instead, because the person would be better off in their own environment. It’s all about educating people on the available options.”

“Personally, I find joy in being able to explain the difference between living in a care home and receiving support at home. Still on addressing the stigma, we also started an initiative called Naija Seniors. We use that platform to discuss different aspects of caregiving, particularly for the elderly. It’s our little community project. We’ve created videos, shared them on YouTube. It’s still in the early stages, but we hope to grow it so we can amplify the voices of Nigerian seniors, their challenges and how they can be heard.”

“We’ve done different series on this, and that’s our own way of reaching out to educate communities about the stigma of placing someone in a care home, and to advocate for better understanding and care for Nigerian seniors in general.”

Titipetral:                                    “What services and support do you provide to ensure residents feel at home?”

MASC CEO:                             “Beyond providing personal hygiene support, we monitor our residents’ vitals both day and night and keep proper records. We make sure they’re in a clean, comfortable, and homely environment where they truly feel at ease.”

“We also place a strong focus on engagement and mental stimulation. We organise a wide variety of activities to keep them active and connected. These include cognitive games, news reading sessions, debates, including political and cultural debates, and anything else that encourages them to reason and interact.”

“There’s a good mix of physical activities as well, like light football, basketball, and dance parties. We use digital games and apps that challenge their cognitive functioning and keep their minds sharp.”

“Every day offers something different. We avoid monotony at all costs, making sure there’s always something new and exciting to look forward to. The goal is to create a space where our residents not only feel at home, but also feel alive, seen, and mentally and physically engaged.”

Titipetal;                      “How do you involve families in the care process of their loved ones?”

MASC CEO:             “From the very moment a loved one is brought into our elderly home, we make it clear that we do not offer care in isolation. We don’t believe in shutting families out or creating a façade with fixed visiting hours just to make the place look perfect during specific times. We are an open book.”

“Families are welcome to visit anytime within reasonable and designated free hours. Of course, we’re careful not to let visits disrupt the residents’ routines, especially during mealtimes or rest periods. We want visits to be meaningful, not overstimulating or distracting.”

“Typically, families can visit from around 11:00 a.m, right after morning devotion and breakfast, to about 5:00 p.m. After 6:00 p.m., we begin winding down and preparing our seniors for the night with calming activities. So we ask families to respect that boundary.”

“But beyond visits, we actively involve families in the care process. We encourage them to stay in touch and be emotionally present, not to disappear after admission. Anytime there’s a concern, whether it’s medical, emotional, or behavioural, we immediately reach out to the family.”

“We don’t do care to people; we do care with them, alongside their families.”

Titipetral;                       “What measures do you take to ensure that residents do not feel abandoned?”

MASC CEO;                          “Even when family members don’t have the time to come regularly, the kind of care and engagement we do here helps a lot. From the very first time someone is brought in, we let the family members know, “You are becoming family with us, we are your family now.” So whether immediate family are physically present or not, we are their family.”

“For example, just this afternoon I was at the home. I walked into one of the rooms where a caregiver was having a conversation with one of the elderly mamas. She was telling the carer how she dealt with her husband’s concubine, how he was cheating back in the days, and how he later came to apologise. The caregiver was asking, “Mama, why would you go beating somebody like that? What was the motive for your husband to cheat?” Their memories were going backwards, sharing things they might not even want to share with their own families.”

“You draw it out in a safe space, engage with them, laugh about it, tease them so they can laugh too. Other residents even join in, sharing their own experiences. Sometimes they talk about painful moments, like losing a child when they were young, heartbreaks, etc., and we try to turn it around and laugh about it. It’s all about making them happy at this stage in life.”

“Also, to ensure they don’t feel abandoned, it’s important to keep family members involved. We regularly update family contact records, and sometimes we do spot checks to confirm the family are still living where they say they are.”

Titipetral;                       “Can you share any success stories of residents who have thrived in your care?”

MAS Care CEO:               “There are so many. I recall one that I always laugh at really. It was one of the residents that the daughter had picked her up and away for the weekend. She went away and the first night that they got there, she was telling her daughter that she wanted to go back home, that she didn’t tell the people at home that she was spending the night out. Now our place was where she considered home. So even though going home to stay with her daughter, she still wanted to come back to the care home. I find that very, very encouraging.”

“Sometimes when we sit down and talk about the lives of our people in the last years, there had been no holds barred. It’s just like pouring out and it feels like I am visiting my grandma or my mum and having a chat with her. That is how we have done. This afternoon too, there is another instance, they were playing music as I entered and I was dancing with one of the men. As I was listening to it, I said, “Baba, do you like this music?” And the older one said, “I think this man has subscribed to you.” and as we started laughing. I asked, “What about you?” And he said, “A long time ago.” I said, “You will need to do subscription renewal.” And we just laughed again.”

“So we have so many success stories. We often have great laughs, so many. And we have had cases where we have had to discharge residents as well, and where we have had many family members insinuating things that are not so. When trust is broken, although we know that we are doing right by you, if you think we are not doing enough, we would discharge your family members to you to avoid incidences in the future where you come back and say “I didn’t say this or that.” So if we feel we are not doing or taking care of them enough, don’t force them into our hands. We will willingly give them back to you to take care of them. I see no reason why if you don’t trust the service and you criticize it in every single thing that has been done in the interest of your ward, and you’re unwilling to take them back. I find that very ridiculous. So we have had cases not because of the residents but because of difficult family members that we have had to discharge residents.”

Titipetral;                       “What role do you think young people can play in supporting the elderly within care homes?”

MASC CEO;                      “I strongly believe in intergenerational engagement. Definitely, I encourage young people to get involved. About a year or two ago, two or three young girls from a church came to our home, expressing their desire to give back to the community. They came to preach the Word of God, and after they finished, the elderly residents prayed over them. I found that both very interesting and beautiful.”

“We regularly have young people come in to interact with the seniors. Young adults often come to plan activities specifically designed to engage the elderly. We encourage these generational activities because they are important for both sides. It is valuable for the older generation to learn what is new and happening in society today. Likewise, it is important for the young to hear stories about how things used to be, to understand the experiences of previous generations.”

“These interactions sometimes take the form of debates, where the seniors recall how things were done when they were young, before technology was widespread, how they played with sand, for example. The younger ones often respond by sharing how today’s children play with iPads. Introducing technology to the elderly at this stage can be very fun and engaging. For instance, getting them to speak to Siri and ask for dinner ideas often brings laughter and excitement, with reactions like “Anjonu leleyi o” (meaning “This must be a spirit”).

“Overall, the integration of young people helps bridge the generational gap, enriches the lives of the elderly, and brings meaningful connections.”

Titipetral;                      “How do you educate families about the benefits of professional elderly care?”

“We primarily use the Naija Seniors platform and various Facebook groups to reach families and the wider community. We are actively working on improving our presence on social media because it has been a while since we consistently did blog posts and YouTube content. Previously, we produced substantial content where we shared snippets covering different aspects of elderly care, and I will share the links to those Naija Seniors videos.”

“Our approach focuses on educating the public about the benefits of professional elderly care. For example, we clarify that caregivers are not the same as house-helps, and we emphasize the importance of treating caregivers with respect and dignity. We also discuss encouraging independence in the elderly and promoting person-centered care, so clients feel empowered in their daily activities.“

“We take every opportunity to educate families on what to expect with particular ailments, explaining the progression and how professional care can help. We also involve professional doctors to provide expert advice when necessary, ensuring families are well informed and engaged throughout the care process. It’s a two-way street, as we educate families, we also continue to learn and improve ourselves.”

Titipetral;                      “What vision do you have for the future of your care home and its role in the community?”

MASC CEO;                      “Our vision is to continue building on what we are currently doing, while improving how we integrate the community in raising awareness about elderly care. We hope to collaborate with the state government to establish community-based centers where elderly people within the community can come together to interact and where our seniors can also engage with them.”

“At the moment, our care home is nearly at maximum capacity, so bringing in people from outside is challenging. However, we believe we can do more in the broader community. For instance, we have identified a youth center in Agege, owned by the state, which is often underutilized. We intend to propose a partnership with the government so that elderly people can have access to that space during its downtime. This would allow us to create day centers where seniors, supported by volunteers, can contribute to society.”

“There is so much older people can still offer at this stage of their lives, if only they have a platform to express themselves and be seen. Our vision is to expand opportunities for the elderly to make a meaningful impact, raise awareness about their capabilities, and encourage communities to embrace and involve them in productive activities.”

Titipetral;                 “How can the community get involved in supporting your care home and its residents?”

MASC CEO;                  “To be fair, we’ve already seen a great deal of positive community involvement supporting our care home, and we truly cannot thank all our supporters enough. We are very grateful. We have people who come by regularly, sometimes bringing clothes or goodies for our seniors. Others come to celebrate their birthdays with them, which is always a joyful experience.”

“We also have individuals who come to share the word of God, pray, or ask for prayer themselves. Schools have come by to celebrate occasions like Valentine’s Day with our residents, which has been wonderful. Honestly, we thank God for the position we hold and the recognition we’ve earned in the community as a care home that integrates well with those around us.”

“That said, we are always open to more visits from the public and would welcome even more people coming to celebrate special moments with our residents. All these engagements enrich the lives of those we care for, and we deeply appreciate every opportunity to bring joy and connection into their lives.”

For more information or inquiries, you can contact MASC Care Home at +234 814 312 5629 or via email at info@masccarehome.org.ng. Their office is located at 29 Santos Avenue, Abule-Egba, Lagos, Nigeria. Or visit http://masccarehome.org.ng/